Note To Self For This New Year – 2020

How incredible that I’ve made it this far?! I want to start the month off by writing a few truths to myself and what version of me I want to be moving forward.

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In living with chronic pain there are always different feelings, one minute I’m tired, the next I’m happy, excited, the next I’m drained and filled with intense physical pain. So, as much as I can’t control nor predict how I’ll be feeling physically, I want to be a little more positive moving forward. It can be draining to feel as if I’m a walking ‘Debby Downer.’ Or am I just imagining that?! Perhaps I am – I tend to be a little dramatic.

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Note to self for this new year – 2020. Be honest with self.

+ Stop feeling sorry for your illness. Things happen, trust in Him that all will be well.

+ Yes. You are sick. Accept it.

+ No one’s judging you for your illness. They just don’t know better.

+ Take your medication, including your vitamins, they’re good for you. Less pain equals less mood swings.

+ Schedule your doctors appointments. It is for your well being. If not for you, for your family.

+ Take charge of your life.

+ Don’t make commitments. You can’t keep them. Not because you don’t want to, but because you can’t predict how you will feel.

+ Your children will admire your strength and determination to keep going – despite it all.

+ Stop wanting people to understand your illness. They don’t. And they won’t. And that’s OK.

+ People don’t understand the energy that it takes for you to be open to ‘doing’ things – accepting visitors etc. It’s OK.

+ Put your energy into those who matter.

+ Be patient. Patience will get you far.

+ Be loving with yourself. Love yourself. Your body will love you for it. The weight gain is minuscule to what really matters. THYROID equals your weight gain. No one is entitled nor deserves to know this. You do. And that’s enough.

+ You’re sick. Accept it. Once you do, you’ll see life differently and only then, will you truly begin to live.

I’m sure there are one or two things that may have slipped my mind. But for now, this is a good start. These truths are not to demean or shame myself, they’re to help me see who I am and who I’d like to be moving forward.

A-

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Mom Life With Chiari

Living with Chiari 1 Malformation and Syringomyelia since 2013.

40 thoughts on “Note To Self For This New Year – 2020”

      3. I am just waiting in a holding pattern right now. Once this new normal is done away with I can get the much needed surgeries. I pray and ask God and Jesus Christ for their divine help. I know praise is important for us to give to them. I am safe and staying safe each day. I now have some good masks that a friend made for me. I thank God for such people. Just like you !

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      4. That’s amazing! God does send His angels, it’s a lovely reminder how He always provides. I’m so glad you’re keeping safe until you’re able to get your surgeries. It’s daunting but God also gives us this time to wait on Him. In due time, for now we wait. I like to think God does nothing by coincidence. It’s all part of His plan. So nice to hear from you James. 😌

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      5. Thank you for the wonderful message. Yes, it is good to wait on Our Heavenly Father. He only gives us what we can handle. God has plans for each of us before we were born. He allows us to follow him and his commandments. It is also great to hear from you as well.

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  3. Good for you! Thyroid problems suck and most who do not suffer just don’t understand. I have dealt with hypothyroidism as well as post partum thyroiditis for the past 5 years. It’s been a battle for sure!

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    1. It truly does! I had someone say that even drinking water has us gain weight. It sure feels that way. I had a complete thyroidectomy in 2018 and i thought the battle would be over. I’m far from it. We’re still figuring out the proper dosage. It caused me so many symptoms, including hair loss, so I had cut my hair to my shoulders. It’s beautiful still – yes, but it feels like our bodies are beyond our control when we are experiencing health issues.
      I’m so sorry you have it. The symptoms can be overwhelming, especially when we have kids. Thank you for sharing that, it feels amazing when someone understands. 😊🙏🏼

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    1. Oh yes! I have those thoughts too. I think sometimes they’re inevitable. Especially if I’m around other moms. But I can’t do that to myself, I stress and it all make me feel physically worse. We’re unique, we’re our own person, we need to stop comparing and start accepting. We’ll get there! 🥰🙌🏽

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    1. I’ve thought about you dear friend. I hope you and your boy have been well.
      Yes, I say it too and shrug it off. ‘What can we do’ or type of thoughts.
      They say with time ‘X’ gets a little easier – I don’t think so. We can handle it / bear with it, perhaps even attempt on speaking on it without tearing up. Or with time we get better at concealing it and hiding the true extent of it from others. You know?
      But I always come back to my reality, otherwise I feel I’m being naive.

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      1. You so right. We learn to put a mask on. But the mask always comes off eventually. I think many of us who wear masks also begin to understand better why others do the same. I’m certainly not better. Probably never will be. But I’m better at as you say managing it. Many people think they know what a person is going through. They don’t only one person truly knows. I’m thinking about you.

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      2. Yes, absolutely. We can never truly walk a mile in anyone’s shoes. We can relate but only to a certain extent perhaps. What we can do, is be more present in their lives, be compassionate and empathetic. Or just be an ear. Sometimes we just need to be heard. Because one things for sure, you don’t have to be amongst a crowd to avoid feeling lonely.
        So being honest with ourselves and our feelings, will help us be honest with others. Little by little removing the mask. 😊

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      4. Ugh! Yes! I feel forbidden from being my true self. At times I feel it’s not even worth reaching out to them because they don’t understand nor care to understand my feelings. So, I stay to myself. Is that bad?! Sometimes. 😎

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    1. Yes Michelle, exactly! Our illness is with us all the time, how do we separate it from our daily lives in order to avoid it consuming us?! We learn in time to know how to handle it, while balancing our lives. Thank you! Hope you’re doing well. 😊

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