Brain Surgery May 9, 2013 – Chiari Malformation

May 9, 2013 is marked within the deepest part of her soul. 

It’s only brain surgery they said.

8 hours into a place of the unknown, she drifted to a deep sleep. 

You never know who or what may change your life – until it does.

And the 8 hours are up, she awakes to a new life – a life of chronic pain that can only been seen in her face.

It’s an invisible illness they said. 

She struggles to maintain her composure.

How does one live with pain, deep pain, pain that doesn’t discriminate and doesn’t stop to ask you your name.

SHE does, she struggles, she cries, she hurts, she screams, she writes, she draws, she smiles, because when time doesn’t stop, she can’t stop.

And when she asks for help, he says, I can’t take the pain, but I can give you something for the pain.

She continues to scream the silent scream.

Be grateful, be thankful – they say.

But when one has no other choice but to be strong, then strong she is. 

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month and being that our mental health is just as important as your physical health, I encourage you to get screened, get help or ask for help. There are both adults and children going through some type of mental illness – break the stigma, it’s not bad, you’re not crazy and you can get better by getting help.

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Photo: Max van den Oetelaar

Reblog Wednesday: In Defense of Stay-At-Home Moms — Autism in Our Nest

As a stay at home mom whom didn’t stay home from the beginning, I must say the transition was rather smooth. I loved my position in the corporate world, but once I had my oldest, my heart yearned to be with her and raise her myself.

I came across this post from Autism Family Power where she mentions coming across an article where a working woman asks, “what do stay at home moms do all day?” The question wasn’t ill intended, but rather out of curiosity.

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I chuckled a bit and then had the sudden urge to detail and justify my role at home. However, each of us has different reasons for our decision to stay at home, and the role of a parent that stays in the home is like no other. His/her role comes without a financial earning, without breaks, days off and too often are running on fumes.

However, the internal satisfaction of making sure my kids are taken care of, taking care of my families daily needs and each of my children’s individual needs be it school or otherwise, is beyond any pay check I could ever receive. The ‘tasks/jobs’ are endless, from scheduling doctors appointments, to making sure my son is thriving in school since his autism diagnosis, to potty training – still doing it. The list goes on and on. All the while praying I am doing a good enough job at raising good, compassionate citizens. Also, caring for myself as I have Chiari 1 Malformation – a congenital disorder.

So, if you’re a stay at home parent or not, our goals are all the same. We’re all caring for our homes and our families needs to the best of our abilities, being in the corporate world or not.

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Recently I read an article where a woman asked Stay-At-Home Moms what they did all day. At first I got defensive, but changed my mood. Read more about this, here!

via In Defense of Stay-At-Home Moms — Autism in Our Nest

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“Hang In There”

I suspect you already know that with every chronic illness come a few doctors appointments – or many. I had to see my doctor recently as the pain in my neck doesn’t get any better and the medication was running low, so back I went to see my Neurologist. There is a strange thing that happens but with each MRI comes a new result. In reviewing my last MRI on his monitor I noticed a curve on top of my neck in the shape of a letter ‘C’ you could say. But we simply continued talking and moved on. However, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and asked him about it. He said a curve like that is normal say on an 80 year old, but not on someone my age. The two surgeries I’ve had, the first in 2013 and the other on 2017, both have been entered through the back of my neck, so my neck has taken quite a bit. The result, it’s caused the top part of my spine to collapse – hence the letter ‘C’ shape, the other result, pain, the remedy, more medicine. We will try a new medication to manage the pain and come back to revisit the issue. I thanked him for his time and as I’m leaving he says, “hang in there.”

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Those simple words have taken over my mind. How many times does something unprecedented happened? And you, “hang in there” or you have absolutely no choice but to do just that?! Aren’t we all doing just that for different reasons, for the sake of your own sanity, because you’re going through a break up, a job loss, marriage issues, financial issues, whatever the case maybe, you’re “hanging in there.”

As anger wanted to creep up inside me, I thought of hope. The word hope. The hope that this will continue to help me gain patience for myself and my body, and hope that I will continue to live life, this new life with much gratitude, the life with physical pain, but life nonetheless.

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